Won't Stop
by Redhead Rikku
Summary: Takes place during New Moon. Edward has been away from Bella for months and it’s driving him crazy. He finally decides to write a letter to her about how sorry he is and how he truly feels about her, with no intention of sending it.
1. Chapter 1

Won't Stop  
By: Redhead Rikku (Kelsey)

Inspired by: "Won't Stop" by One Republic

Summary: Takes place during New Moon. Edward has been away from Bella for months and it's driving him crazy. He finally decides to write a letter to her about how sorry he is and how he truly feels about her, with no intention of sending it.

Edward looked to the calendar in his "family's" kitchen. February. Almost five months away from Bella. _Just stop thinking about her!_ He thought to himself. These visits to his family, made only for Esme's sake, were the hardest times for him. Even harder than when he was alone, attempting to track Victoria. At least then he was trying to focus on Victoria instead of Bella. "Damn it." Edward groaned, even thinking her name made every part of him long to be near her, at the very least within a 10 mile radius of her.

What made home the most difficult was that he could hear the thoughts of his family. Most of their first thoughts when they saw him were about Bella and himself. Rosalie was happy, at least, which, surprisingly, made Emmett a little angry. He had lost a clumsy little sister but Rosalie had only lost a nuisance. Alice was by far the worst to listen too. She loved Bella nearly as much as Edward did. She was constantly battling herself in her mind, trying to figure out how upset Edward would be if she just snuck a little peak into Bella's future or even paid her a little visit. Esme mostly wished that the circumstances were different. Though she tried not to think it around Edward, she occasionally wished that they had just turned Bella, so Edward would be happy. That meant Edward spent most of his time focusing on the thoughts of Carlisle or Jasper. Carlisle was extremely considerate of Edward's feelings in the matter, he had only once or twice thought of Bella in Edward's presence. Meanwhile, Jasper was able to block her out of his mind all together. Only once did Bella emerge in his thoughts and it fully explained why he was able to block her out. He just imagined himself and Alice in Edward and Bella's positions.

Edward got up unusually slow, looking toward the piano. He wanted desperately to play but every time he tried, his song would slowly morph into Her lullaby.

Esme had descended the stairs that moment and seeing Edward looking towards the piano made her happy. She had been hoping he'd start playing again. However, instead of playing, Edward clenched his fists and then, just as slowly as before, sat back down. "Why…" He sighed.

Esme hated seeing him like this, in so much pain. She could tell by the black in his eyes that Edward hadn't fed in weeks. "Edward, you must be hungry. Why don't you, me, and Carlisle go hunting?" She suggested.

"No, thank you. I'm too afraid I will lose myself and run back to her." Edward didn't even turn towards Esme.

"Then…why don't you play a song…on the piano. You'll play the song I like so much, won't you?"

"I…" Edward looked back towards the piano, the keys inviting him to run his fingers down them, "I suppose it couldn't hurt." He was at the piano in the blink of an eye. Taking a deep breath, he began Esme's favorite song. He waited for the song to change. It didn't. He relaxed a bit. Maybe he was getting better at forgetting about her.

He heard their thoughts as they came down the stairs, Alice, followed immediately by Jasper, then Carlisle and Emmett, and lastly, Rosalie. All surprised that he was actually playing. This was just the distraction his fingers needed to absently change the tune to Bella's lullaby. He felt the room stiffen, which was difficult for already still vampires. Instead of stopping though, he kept playing. He played the entire song, with just as much emotion as had originally written it with. When he stopped, he sprang up.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Carlisle asked, worried.

"Is it Bella?" Alice nearly squealed, "I'll check her future if you want. We can check on her…" she trailed off after a look from Jasper. He could tell that wasn't what Edward had in mind.

"I need to write a letter." Edward said, darting up the stairs to a bedroom. They had told him it was his but he really didn't use it, until now that was. He opened the drawers of the desk, uncovering some nice paper and an envelope, but for some reason he couldn't find his pen.

"Alice!" He said, not very loudly, she would hear him.

"Yes?" She questioned, dancing through the doorway.

"Where's my pen?"

"Oh, here." She handed him a pen that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "I needed it the other day. I hope you didn't mind…"

"No. That's fine. Thank you." Edward took the pencil and then immediately started writing, not waiting for Alice to leave the room.

**_Dear Bella,_**

**_I can hardly begin to tell you how sorry I am for what I had to do to you…to us…Please believe that I did what I had to do. I would not be able to live with myself if anything related to me, in any way, had caused you harm. I realize that if I were telling you this in person you'd probably tell me that I had caused you harm already. I know this, but it seemed to me the lesser of anything else I could have possibly done to you. You should know that I love you with all my heart, more than anything, even my own existence._**

**_When we first met in Biology your first day in Forks, I was in such a rush to get as far away from you as possible that I did not notice how beautiful you were. I sincerely thought I was going to kill you that day. Either in class, along with everyone else in the room, or later, when I could get you alone. I am so glad that I was able to wait. That I didn't kill you, that I was able to spend the greatest moments of my existence with you. Some people say that love isn't fair, but considering I am madly in love with you, I think I'm doing fine._**

**_I swear to you Bella, that if my heart would beat, it would beat for you and only you. And I also swear to you that it has been you that I've waited these decades for. I was waiting for you all along. You are my life._**

**_I love you, forever and always,_**

**_Edward_**

If vampires could cry, Edward would have been bawling. He addressed the envelope, quietly and dryly sobbing the entire time, slipping the letter neatly inside, not bothering to seal it. He wouldn't be sending it.

Alice still stood in the doorway. She had watched the entire thing. "Edward?"

"Yes?" Edward tucked envelope into the top desk drawer and stood.

"Are you alright?"

He took a moment before he answered, "I hope so." And then he passed her, exiting the room, leaving her staring at the desk.

After a few more moments of silence, Alice could hear the piano start up again. Edward and Rosalie were playing a duet.

It only took a moment for the plan to form in her head. Alice would send Edward's letter, along with a note of her own, to Bella. Bella deserved to know the truth, why Edward had left, how awful she herself felt about leaving.

She reached the desk in less than half a second and had a piece of paper pulled out soon after. She'd have to be fast if her plan were to work. Edward was distracted now, but it was only a matter of time before Rosalie got upset with him because she wants to play the lead piano part.

**_Dear Bella,_**

**_I have to be quick if I want this letter to actually get to you. Edward is going nuts without you. I don't want you to worry about him though, he's home at the moment. You just worry about yourself. I haven't been able to look into your future but I'm sure you've attained a life-time's worth of cuts and bruises. Before send this, I just want you to know that I feel terrible about just leaving. We all felt it best to follow Edward's lead and I know he regrets it just as much as I do. You are my clumsy human sister and I love you. Everyone misses you._**

**_Stay safe,_**

**_Alice_**

Alice quickly pushed her note into the envelope addressed to Bella, hearing arguing downstairs. She would just make it out just in time, darting out the front door, without anyone even noticing.

Edward realized, about five minutes later that Alice was missing. Not even Jasper knew where she was. About 10 minutes later, she returned, carrying a garment bag.

"Where did you go off to?" He asked as she closed the front door.

"I had some errands to run." Alice replied nonchalantly, running up to her room with the bag.

**-2 days later-**

Bella pulled up to her house in her red Chevy truck, turning off the engine as Jacob hopped out the passenger seat. She paused for a moment as her eyes were drawn to the spot where her birthday present stereo had once been. _Edward…_she thought to herself but was distracted again by Jacob who was opening her door.

"You okay Bella?" He asked, she only looked like this when someone mentioned anything that reminded her of the Cullens, which was fairly often.

"What? Oh yeah," Bella said, slipping out of her truck, "Would you mind getting the mail? I need to unlock the door."

"Yeah, no prob." Jacob, after making certain Bella had safely made her way to the door, jogged to the mail box. Pulling everything out, he absently sorted through bills, letters, vacation offers, only to freeze when he came upon a letter to Bella from a familiar sender. Why had Cullen sent the letter now? Things were getting a hell of a lot better with Bella. He was about to ruin it.

_That can't happen._Jacob finally decided, slipping Edward's letter into his pocket and walking into the house.

"Anything interesting?" Bella laughed. God, he was glad he had saved that.

"Yep, you may be eligible for an all expense paid trip to Hawaii."


	2. Jacob POV Followup

"Am I the Bad Guy?"

A follow-up to "Won't Stop"

Following the posting of my story, "Won't Stop," There was a review from someone saying: **"****PF !! Jacob would never do that to bella !! i'm tired of this stupid stories where jacob is always the bad guy who put edward and bella apart!"  
**That is honestly not what I intended. I thought that I had made it clear with Jacob's view in the story that, like Edward thought he was doing what he had to, so was Jacob. He knew it would tear Bella up inside to see the letter, much less read it and realize Edward still didn't plan on coming back. Just like Edward was protecting Bella, Jacob was protecting her too. Now, I will continue a bit, all from Jacob's POV, what he does with the letter and his thoughts about it.

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I was never more happy to be away from Bella than I was as I got out of her truck and finally made it into my house. What was I doing, intercepting her mail? I had acted on impulse, seeing something that shouldn't belong and immediately wanting it out of the equation. If things were a little different, and I really just felt "friend feelings" toward Bella, I would have done the exact same thing. …Right?

I watched out the window as she pulled away, heading back home. She was starting to live again, starting to forget about that…that ass that cut her so deep. No, she wasn't forgetting him. She would never forget him, and that was something I hoped for so much. I couldn't just stand by and let the rush of emotions that surely would have hit her like a brick wall, do just that. All the progress she had made would have been completely forgotten and she would have reverted back to the state at which I had found her in.

Looking down at the letter I began to feel extremely guilty. If Bella ever found out that I had this, she'd be pissed. No, actually, more than pissed she'd be fuming. There would literally be steam coming out of her ears and I'd only have a few seconds left to live in which I could explain myself. I did it for her own good. It was as simple as that.

I slowly opened the letter, not sure why I was so curious about what it said. I found that Alice girl's note first. I didn't find myself angry with this note. In fact, if it didn't mean he'd have to explain why he had the letter with no envelope, he would have given it to Bella. This Alice seemed to know Bella pretty well, she HAD attained a lot of cuts and bruises, but I had stopped her from getting too damaged, physically AND emotionally. I had a strange feeling that this girl may have understood what I was doing at this moment.

Then I got to Cullen's letter. There was NO way in the history of ways that I was letting Bella see this. It would either A. destroy her, or B. Cause her to go searching blindly for Cullen, leading her away from me forever and eventually, when she didn't find him, destroy her.

I was certain now, if I was just Bella's friend…and had no other feelings for her…I'd be doing the exact same thing…Protecting her…Because Bella was a girl who needed constant protection, whether she knew it or not.

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I know it's short but I hope everyone who felt I portrayed Jacob badly in "Won't Stop" will read this and realize that I wasn't portraying him badly at all.

And hopefully, to stop the rabid Team Edward-ees: I'm a member of your ranks! I don't hate Jacob at all, though I find him to be a bit creepers in the 4th book, I am just a firm believer that Edward and Bella belong together.


End file.
